


Kids and Cigs

by gudlyfe2007



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dissociative Identity Disorder, Drabble, Implied Past Trauma, Other, Recovery, did, dont comment about moodswings, implied PTSD, short fic, thnx, when this is clearly tagged DID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 20:21:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11997252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gudlyfe2007/pseuds/gudlyfe2007
Summary: Keiji and his friends have seen their fair share of the tough stuff. Life can be cruel, but at least the new kids aren't smoking cigarettes at 8.





	Kids and Cigs

**Author's Note:**

> this is a more personal drabble i did, just this morning actually...debated for a long time whether or not i should post it. drop a comment and lemme know what you think!

September 6, 1997. It's a Monday. 7:34pm.

My therapist suggested I start writing. Writing again, I mean. I used to write all the time, when things were...worse. shockingly, worse than they are now. 

But I guess in some weird retrospect, the aftermath is what really eats you alive. 

The thing about trauma is, that when it's happening it's something...solid. When it's over, it's a lingering ghost, the kind that makes you jump when they touch your shoulder when you think you're alone. You startle at the sight of their phantom figure sitting in your apartment. 

I'm living with Tsukishima Kei now. He's an old acquaintance from a rival high school. 

Maybe I shouldn't say this because I know he wants to keep it private, and I don't know who might find this journal in the future, but he's seen his fair share of trauma as well. He has multiple personality disorder, which I guess now is called dissociative identity disorder. I've been doing a bit of research on it to make him feel more comfortable in our roommate situation. After all, he's done a lot for me in the past two months. 

This is all I'm writing for now. I can't think of anything else to put. 

-Keiji

\--

"Where have you been, Akaashi?" 

"Around." 

"Around where?" 

"I got a new job." 

Kuroo narrowed his eyes. "A new job where?" 

Before Keiji could answer, Bokuto interrupted the exchange. "This isn't like your other jobs is it?" 

"No. It's at a cat cafe a couple blocks from Tsukishima's university. I work there with Kenma," Keiji explained. Kuroo raised his eyebrows. 

"With Kenma? You two are getting along now?" 

Keiji raised an eyebrow and finally began to take off his shoes as he entered his friends' shabby excuse for a house. It was more of an over-glorified shed sitting just on the outskirts of the inner city. The inner city, the real messy place and such. "What do you mean 'getting along now?' Kenma and I have always been friends...or...more like...good acquaintances. I suppose, anyway." 

Kuroo chuckled to himself as leaned over the living room coffee table, rummaging through a pile of empty cigarette packets to find something other than a butt and traces of ash. He let out a happy sigh as he found the needle in his haystack of grimy junk and lit it up with a tired smile. "Sure, 'Kaashi." 

Keiji just huffed back. He plopped his heavy backpack down on the only unoccupied beanbag and settled in, pulling up the knee-high low desk and placing a pillow in front of it. He checked the time on the yellowing, dusty thrift store clock leaning against the wall. 

"Oikawa and Mereideisu should be on their way by now," Kuroo said, noticing Keiji's glancing at the clock. 

"You should add to your journal in the meantime," Bokuto said. "I worry about you, but you always seem a little lighter after writing in your book." 

\--

September 7, 1997. It's a Tuesday. Almost 4:20pm. I'm counting the minutes until Bokuto or Kuroo make a "420 blaze it" joke. 

Oikawa's daughter's real name is Meredith. It's really cute. I've only talked to her a few times - she's about 8, and her Japanese isn't that great. Most of her life she grew up in Hawaii with Oikawa's baby mama. 

Two years ago Oikawa Tooru left the maps in Japan and Iwaizumi was heartbroken. Didn't let it show though, at least not in ways that were obvious. But he always had people over - for sex. I know it, I've been there - you know, hypersexuality as a way of coping. You wouldn't think Iwaizumi would be the type. Looking at him from the surface no one would know, but people like me...well, we catch on. 

Anyway, Oikawa showed up again three months ago with his daughter, Mereideisu . He's asked me to babysit her and help teach her Japanese while he works his shift at Spank! in the local outlet mall. I asked him for some discounts on their My Little Pony knock off merchandise for one of Tsukishima's alters. She's 9 and a very girly personality. 

Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be a little kid living in the body of a 19 year old. Does she wish she had other kids to play with? Is she lonely? I can imagine. 

This journal was supposed to be about me recording my thoughts and feelings. But so far I guess it's just been a documentation of the people around me. 

People. We're sure strange beings, we are. 

This is all I'm writing for now. I can't think of anything else to put. 

-Keiji 

\--

"Sweetie, that's not for you. This is 'tabako' - uh, cigarettes. Not for little kids!" 

"That's right, you don't want to smoke and get wrinkles like Kuroo, Merei." 

Keiji, although preoccupied with with his phone conversation in the next room, could still hear Bokuto and Kuroo arguing with the 8 year old. She yelled something in English, which Keiji roughly translated into "I want it, it's MINE!" He peaked around the corner into the living room to see the two men with her exchange lost and helpless looks. Neither of them knew English outside a few basic words. 

"Akaashi? Akaashi are you still there?" Oikawa said on the other line of the bulky corded house phone. 

"Yes, Oikawa. I'm still here. Keep talking to me. What happened?" 

"I-I saw Iwa-chan at the food court. Akaashi we - we made eye contact. I haven't talked to him since leaving two years ago, and he - he doesn't know about Mereideisu, or the custody battle in Hawaii, and I...shit, fuck, fuck, fuck, Akaashi. I'm crying. I'm freaking out - I can't keep it together any longer, I'm breaking - and I've ruined the only chance I've had with the person I love because of my mistakes and I...goddamn I..." Oikawa trailed off into broken sobs. 

"Hush, Tooru. Things will...things will work out." This was a lie. Keiji didn't know if things would ever work out for any of them. "The first thing you need to do it get control of your breathing again. You're going to start choking if you keep hyperventilating like that. You're okay. Repeat that mantra to yourself. You're okay, Oikawa." 

"I - I'm okay. I'm okay, Akaashi." 

"You don't need to deal with your feelings about Iwaizumi right now. Focus on getting through your shift, and coming home to Merei. She's been doing so well with her English lessons." Another lie. Mereideisu was a difficult child and struggled with even speaking English, much less at all. There was slim hope for her to pick up Japanese at an average rate any time soon. "Oikawa? Are you listening to me?" 

"Y-yeah. I have to go, my break is over. I'll see you two hours Akaashi." 

"Okay. Bye Oikawa. Deep breaths. Deep breaths." 

\--

September 8, 1997. It's a Wednesday. Almost 5am. 

Tsukishima is asleep. It was his old man alter, Yuukio, who fell asleep in my room listening to his Walkman and rambling on about his dead dogs. Oikawa called crying ten minutes ago, he was drunk, and I learned a little more about the issues with his baby mama and the court rulings and abuse in Hawaii. I can't get back to sleep.

Sometimes when I feel like this I don't think I'll be able to get back to sleep ever. 

Yesterday I took a nap with Mereideisu on Bokuto and Kuroo's futon. Bokuto eventually curled up with us and we stayed like that until an hour later when Oikawa came to pick his kid up. I don't remember waking up when Mereideisu left. 

However, when I finally came to and grabbed my backpack from the living room I found my journal moved from its front pocket. It was resting on top of Kuroo's pile of empty Ramune bottles, one of the hundreds of neatly separated piles of junk around the house. 

There was a cigarette and a folded My Little Pony knockoff drawstring backpack folded on top if it. When I picked it up a note fell out. It was from Oikawa. 

/Thanks a ton Akaashi. Here's the bag you mentioned that your little friend would like from my work. You also mentioned when I came to pick up Merei that you'd like a similar one that's yellow. I'll see what I can do - really. Anything for you. You and Bokuto and Kuroo have been so much help for me in the past couple months.  
-Oikawa Tooru and Merei  
p.s. Merei wanted you to have the cigarette she stole from Kuroo. Haha. Kids./ 

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this either. 

This is all I'm writing for now. I can't think of anything else to put. 

-Keiji

\--

The autumn bitterness stung like a slap on Keiji's face. He fingered the cigarette in his hands, the world around him seeming to be dulled like the blunt tip of a spear that kept trying to pierce its way into his sense, but to no such avail. 

Finally he struck a match and lit up the cancer stick. 

A door creaked open behind him and Tsukishima hesitantly stepped outside. He was wearing a pink jumper and the new Spank! backpack from Oikawa, so...it wasn't really Tsukishima himself. 

"Hey kiddo. How'd you sleep?" 

"Alright. Keiji, you shouldn't smoke. You don't want to smoke and get wrinkles like Kuroo-san." 

Keiji hesitated for a moment before putting out the cigarette. "You're right, little one. Let's head back inside - the wind is too bitter out for September." 

Kids. 

\--

**Author's Note:**

> like i said, lil more personal than what i tend to do with my twice removed horror/suspense or dark comedy fics. what'd you think? drop a comment or kudos if you like, and if you're looking for something a kinda Stranger Things horror-esque this fall check out my KurooAka fic Bones and Bruises and Contingency in its Strangest Form. 
> 
> Thnx! have a good one xoxoxoxox


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